Top Ten Ways to be the Funniest Guy in the Office

This is really old but hilarious (if you have that kind of humor, and I do):

10. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath even if they don't, and then punch them in the face.

9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks, tell everyone you were kidding and call them a bunch of queers.

8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. In the meeting pretend you're hocking up a loogie, spit it into a glass and hand it to the person next to you and say "BEAT THAT!

7. Inform a male co-worker that he would make a good hooker, then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good ass fucking.

6. Always walk around with a big smile and keep one hand down the front of your pants.

5. Answer every question with " Fucked if I know...", then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race.

4. Brag about the fact that you carry a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty and go around shaking everyone's hand.

3. Run down the hall with your penis out spraying pee everywhere yelling "It wont stop! God help me, it won’t stop!" Then when it does, look down and say, "Oh! I must have broke it."

2. Ask to borrow a co-worker's expensive pen- Bring it to the bathroom and stick it up your ass- return it to the person and tell them that it smells bad and tell them to smell it - when they say that it smells, say "It should - - I had it up my ass!"

1. Shit on your office floor and when someone comes in and sees it tell them it's the fake rubber kind. When they try to pick it up and realize that their hand is full of real shit - - laugh and embarrass him in front of everyone.

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